What I Wish I Could Tell My Teenage Self about...Change...

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Hey Friends,
Who knew there are so many inspiring quotes on change...seriously! I feel so inspired just from finding a picture for this post. I kid.

So here is the next addition to the "What I Wish I Could Tell My Teenage Self about...". You can find part 1 here, part 2 here, the popular part 3 here and part 4 here.

Junior high and high school are years I must admit I squirm to look back on. Mistakes and ego and just loud insecurities. I must admit the thought of my 10 year reunion was not one of glee or nostalgia...more of just awkwardness and still at 33 years old loud insecurities...so not much has changed...ha!

Looking back to those days are what prompts these series of posts...for life in the Robbins' home right now Change is something that is moving like a freight train. So therefore today's post for teens...Change! What I wish I could tell my teenage self about...Change.

1. It happens. Change will come. You will change. Life will change. Others will change. Simple to the point.

2. I just typed "embrace it" and even for my heart that seems overwhelming and scary. How do we embrace change when it feels like for women change is all things scary. But what if we looked at change and embraced not the change but the One who is in charge of that change? (hello...conviction in my life!)

3. Cling to Jesus when the change feels hard or scary. Oh sweet friends/girls...I type with tears in my eyes to think of life for some of you. For someone reading this maybe last night your folks sat you down and said "we are separating." For someone reading this maybe all your friends have walked away from you this year. For someone reading this your dad got transferred jobs so at Christmas you are moving to a new town and new school. Sweet friend, cling to Jesus. Ashley, cling to Jesus. What if we really did? What if the vision of holding as tightly as you can the hand of your Everlasting Father was ever at the forefront of your mind and heart. My husband has been an anchor to my overwhelmed soul. He sent me this verse the other day...

" My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness (Ashley paraphrase: perfected in changing life on you.) Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, that the power of Christ may dwell in me."

Oh, Jesus, Dwell in me...

4. It may just be what makes you, YOU. If we believe our journey is ever unfolding before us then change is inevitable. So even in the midst of hard change, fun change, great change, exciting change...change is what tends to make our reflection more like our Maker. Why does it hurt so very much to be more like Jesus? Ponder that...the answer makes me giggle and nod my head at myself and say "bless her heart" (about myself). I forget sometimes who I am and whose I am...

5. Change...I think I am daily learning that with any change, good or hard, comes with a question. Who do I trust? "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your path straight."

Hold hands with Him...He's got this!

Be awesome & Love Jesus,

kanakuk ashley robbins
ashley@kanakuk.com
Kanakuk...life changing summer camp!

What I Wish I Could Tell My Teenage Self about...Beauty...

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Hey K2 Kanakuk Friends,
All I can type right now is that fact that One Direction's song is looping in my head over and over...

     "You don't know you're beautiful..."

Oh, One Direction.

Moving on. I have so loved these series of "What I Wish I Could Tell My Teenage Self about..." LOVED THEM. They have been reflective, creative and good for my heart and soul. To the 10 people reading...bless your hearts.

Here are all the past posts of this little series...Family, Boys, and Moms...

Beauty is defined by Webster as "the quality of being physically attractive." To me, for some reason, that definition is so sad. As I am navigating the whole mommy of 3 precious little girls this idea of beauty pops up in my head a lot. I think of it when I tell them how beautiful they are. I think of it when they see me putting on makeup (not a usual occurrence...however, this mom is thankful for mascara...it just makes a gal feel put together...it's the southern in me. we belles need our mascara.). I think of it so often...what will their definition of beauty be? What is your definition my hip and cool teenage gals?

I want to simply give my two cents...that's about what it is worth...so here are the top 5 things I wish I could have told my teenage self about BEAUTY.

1. Let your beauty be defined by who you are. Okay, nothing I am typing is rocket science or even a new theory of sorts. Just thoughts. Sweet girls, the world from the time you popped from your momma to each day of your life is yelling at you that beauty is defined in makeup, sizes and numbers, clothes, and how great of natural curls you can do. The world is screaming beauty messages every day at your spirit and soul, heart and body. You are told to be beautiful you need to straighten this, tuck that, and never wear these. You are told to be beautiful you need to have no pores seen, no hair out of place and no thighs touching. You are told a lot of things...maybe I should switch "things" to LIES. You are told lies. What if you changed the message of beauty...You know you can do big things like that. You can be a woman defined by your own definition of beauty. You can be defined by the acts of beauty you live in your life. The act of helping the broken in your hallways. The act of stopping the bully from teasing the downtrodden anymore. The act of sitting with the loner a few tables away. Let your beauty be found in your life...in your daily choices. Don't let beauty be something so simple as outward. It's so much more.

2. Beauty fades. This beauty I speak type of fading is the outward. Oh precious I know you think your legs are too short and your cheeks to chubby (Girl, I'm always storing for winter in my cheeks! Squirrel cheeks could be my nickname), your lips too thin and your *ahems* too small. Oh to see in the future to when we are 40, 53 or 87...do you think any of that will matter. Answer: NO. You will be 64 years old and sitting in a rocking chair looking through photo boxes or your kids, grand-kids and great gran-kids. You won't care about lines around your eyes...those lines tell stories of tears as you welcomed your 1st grandbaby. You won't care about your thighs...those thighs tell memories of marathons run with your best friend. You won't care about your *ahems*...those *ahems* tell many countless nights nursing your first baby through it's first fever. Your outward beauty fades...absolute truth.

3. Beauty can be found in everyone. If I wasn't a mom and a somewhat totally morbid thinker I am pretty sure I would pick up every hitch-hiker I ever passed. I just always always want to...but then the 8 little dangly feet and my morbid "what-if-they-kill-me" mind kicks in and so I drive by praying someone with a mission to pick up hitch-hikers who is a male and knows moves like Jagger to protect himself if a gun in drawn would pick them up and share Jesus...I'm serious, I pray that. A lot. Anyways, I say that to simply say I want to see beauty in everyone...the person who doesn't look like me or my friends. The darker and lighter. The smarter. The sad and broken. The outward and upfront. The special needs. The homeless. The all put together. I want to see beauty there. The sunrise. The loss of love. The second chances. The deer in my road. The cries of my baby (4 am...that is a tough beauty call!). Beauty was made for our enjoyment. Beauty in Jesus' definition is in everything.

4. Physical beauty isn't bad, but be careful. I wanted to make sure this was a point. Beauty outwardly...it's not bad. New clothes, great. A new set of makeup brushes, great. New TOM Wedges that you wear everyday even with yoga pants, great. (Not that I do that or anything.). Beauty, in the most physical terms, isn't bad. It's not bad to tell your sister she looks beautiful in her new easter clothes. It's not bad if your hair looks especially beautiful one day. It's when that beauty, the world's beauty definition, is what you seek. When that beauty becomes your idol. When that beauty definition limits you and enraptures your life and heart. Walk this line carefully...always remembering true and unwavering beauty has nothing to do with the outward.

5. You are beautiful. Okay, I know your mom tells you this. I know that school counselors say this when you get called into her office because you got put in a locker by the girl bully again. But I can't not type it. I want to be a voice (or a read) that tells you once again, you are beautiful my sweet girl. You were made with purpose. Your hair is wavy because Jesus knit you together perfectly. Your outward beauty is perfect to your Heavenly Father. Your inward beauty makes Him lavish His love on you. You are His beauty!

Let's end this post with a perfect cliche..."beYOUtiful."

Be awesome & Love Jesus,

kanakuk ashley robbins
ashley@kanakuk.com
Come to a beautiful CAMP! Kanakuk!

What I Wish I Could Tell My Teenage Self about...Moms...

{source: me. those little feets are my littles...minus the most recent addition}

Hey K2 Kanakuk Friends,
Well, sorry I've been such a slacker...the blog is finding itself on the very end of my to-do list as a certain little cutie newborn is hogging my arms. I don't mind too much.

Today's post might be super mooshy and totally relevant to life right now for me. I try hard to stay in the "mind of a teenage girl" for posts and will try with this post also as I type about what I wish I could tell my teenage self about my mom. Hence what I wish you could know NOW about your mom or any woman in your life that loves you and cares for you...

By the way (I totally typed BTW and went back and typed it out b/c it was like I was trying too hard to be cool! Made me laugh), you can read the other series by clicking below:

1. What I Wish I Could Tell My Teenage Self about...FAMILY. 
2. What I Wish I Could Tell My Teenage Self about...BOYS.

Okay so here is what I wish I could tell my teenage self about...MOMS.

1. Moms are so tired. Now I might be typing this from a very personal place but let me extend on this a bit. Although I am physically tired with this little newborn stage I still would say moms (of teenagers or tweens or young ones) are tired. As the hubs and I had our EOD (end of day) talk before we drift off to sleep-time I literally looked at him and said..."I'm going to be tired for the next 25 years." I think moms need more sleep but I also think this point is all too telling of their hearts. Do you know that I can hear any movement in our house...any little foot or cough. I hear the faintest of cry or the toddler version of "mommy" before it's even uttered. I would guess that even in teenage years it's the same...just a bigger version of those toddlers. I bet your mom hears every tear after you don't make the cheer team as you lay in bed. I bet she hears the door knob turns and knows you are home safe. She is up late worrying and yet trying not to worry and let you go. She lays in bed staring at the old popcorn ceiling wondering will you and she ever make it through these teenage years? She awakes at 5 am for a bathroom break and can't go back to bed because she is dreaming of the day she will give you away and the day you become a mom. She's tired...but trust me I can honestly say...it's the best kind of tired.

2. Moms are dirty. Yep. I presently have spit up down my whole shoulder. I haven't shaved in 5 years since we started having kids. I do own a toothbrush, though every little in my house has put it in their mouth too to "bwush teef." Again, stay with me for moms of teenagers as they are a bit out of the spit up and haven't showered phase...I hope. That would be weird if your kid still spit up on you. Ew. Your mom's hands are covered with glue from the project in 5th grade with all the planets. Pinterest wasn't around yet...therefore it was actually hard to make. Your mom's hands are covered in spaghetti sauce, chicken guts, burgers for the team and chocolate chips to feed the neighborhood kids. Your mom's hands are so dirty from the snotty noses you had during allergy season as a toddler, throw up from the flu that would hit like an atom bomb every year in your house and lice bugs from the horrible sunday at church when you "shared" with the itchy head kid. Your mom's are dirty...with your life. They are in it. They are a part of you. They have daily picked you up and cleaned you off. Sometimes they want to pick you up when you should fall and fall hard...so instead of picking you up they crawl in whatever "dirt" you have gotten yourself into. Mom's meet you in dirt...they wish with all their heart you would never get dirty or hurt. They know they can't protect you from that so instead...they meet you in your dirt.

3. Moms are screw-ups. Preach. Yes. I cannot tell you how many nights I have walked in at midnight to my little 2 pigtails room and had to whisper in their ear..."Mommy is so sorry for being impatient today. I love you and please forgive mommy." There is no answer besides a little breath breathing so sweetly in and out with her thumb hanging out the side of her mouth. I have to do it...I couldn't sleep laying there and knowing I screwed up. I don't live in guilt (that's a whole nother blog post to mommies out there) but I am so very quick to say sorry. Sweet teenage girls...Your mom isn't perfect. She messes up. She is trying to figure out how to protect you, but not overprotect you...to raise you but not too quick but not too slow where you are living at home when you are 27. She is trying...be gracious. Talk to her. Don't shut her out. If she hurts your feelings, share that...but here is a crazy idea...listen to her why's and thoughts. Your momma might surprise you. Forgive her and know that no one loves you like she does. Seriously...no one. (besides Jesus. obvi.)

4. Moms are people. When was the last time you (yes, you little teenage girl that types more words to a stupid iPhone screen than actually talks to someone) sat down with your mom after arriving home from school and said..."how was your day, mom?" MIND BLOWN. Go try it. Your mom is a person...breathing, with feelings, thoughts, hard days, celebrations. Get to know her. Know her little sayings that are so "your mom." Cook her favorite recipes and learn how she does it so you can pass that on. Your mom is this full picture of love, grace, unconditional everything, patience, and acceptance...you owe it to yourself to know her. Hold her hand when you are walking. Hug her at night. Run into her bed on Saturday morning to just laugh and then go get donuts in your pjs. See her. If you do this you will see Jesus...

5. Moms are Jesus to you every day. Oh, how many moments did my mom probably stand in our hallway so overwhelmed in raising a teenage daughter. My silence, my door slams, my rollercoaster of emotions, my attitude...oh Jesus please come back before we hit the teenage years in our home. But my mom showed me Jesus...she was steadfast in her love, she always scratched my back at night which said I love you in every way, and she always took care of me. That's Jesus. My mom gave me the foundation of Jesus in my life. That deserves a million bucks and a million thanks...the great thing about moms, though, is that a little hug or "i love you" is all it takes to make our hearts smile and rest in a job well done.

Go get your momma...read this together. See her. Promise me...

Be awesome and Love Jesus,

kanakuk ashley robbins
ashley@kanakuk.com

What I Wish I Could Tell My Teenage Self about...BOYS

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Hey K2 Kanakuk Friends,
Goodness, I love when I start a "series" and really it just lives on the world wide web as a serie. No "s." Well, boom...this just became a series..."What I wish I could tell my teenage self about...______"

The first addition was on FAMILY. You can read it HERE . I thought for the second addition we would jump into the topic that will bring inward squeals (because no way do you outwardly act like boys are a biggie...totally cool) and crazy eyes (eyes that all teenage girls have and make their parents roll their eyes and cry into their daughter's old dolls longing for the days of yore with pigtails and poopy diapers...yes, they would probably pick the poopy diapers) --- That was a long statement for parentheses. (I just googled "parenthesis" plural as who knew how to spell that).

Okay, so drumroll for the Top 5 Things I Wish I could Tell My Teenage Self about BOYS.
1. They smell. (deep, I know). Sometimes they smell good since they have all fallen prey to those ridiculous AXE commercials. This smell with burn the hair all the way up your nostrils b/c it is so oddly strong, bad strong, not like oh, big muscles strong. Also, after their athletic endeavors or for some who sweat easily just being called on in class, their body odor is, well, like that of their lineage. Poor Adam...no deodarant back then. (Oops, but the garden was perfect so maybe Adam didn't have BO).

2. Boys want you to be a good friend. Oh, the drama. I love the girls in the summer who say these words to me. "I hate drama" and then they continue to talk through with me their life and it's like a scene blitz of every CW show and vampire movie without the vampire teeth. Seriously. Guys that are great guys want just good friends. I am not speaking to the age 'ole question of "Can a girl and a guy be best friends?" (Oh, that's a whole nother blog...is "nother" a word...it was to my mamma). I look back to leadership teams (I didn't really have friends in high school...Looo-ser! I know. Or college really but at K2 on staff...there I found great friends...guys and gals. Deep memories!) and I realize I had sweet guy friends...true brothers in Christ. Oh, so sweet! It was pure and clean and safe. The operative word to this item is FRIEND. Be a sweet, kind and true friend.

3. Boys have no "cycle" but just as many hormonal or "cray-cray-ness." (Man, webster should holler cuz I'm making up some awesome vocab words. My english teacher mom will be proud...Hey Mom!). I know girls have periods, puberty and body changes. Girls are labeled as harder and emotions everywhere. I would debate though that teenage boys...equally as weird, hormonal, puberty-ness and well funny. Girls, I know so much emotions swirl in your little heart in a day. For boys I don't think they have 4,000 words they want to share with someone but they are equally as clumsy, awkward and need help. They aren't Mr. Cool Face all the time. (This point goes back being a good friend b/c all y'all got to many cells that are cray-cray to be anything but friends.) For all adults...like a 7th grade boy is maybe my favorite to try and conversate with...it's hysterical.  (Conversate...totally not a word)

4. Boys are boys. Don't make them girls or make them Channing Tatum in Step Up (the original, let's be honest after the 1st one it was pretty much downhill from there.) Don't be mad that for Valentine's day your boyfriend of 12 hours just got you a box of those chocolates from Walmart...maybe I over dramatize, no, I've heard it before from your girlies at kamp. Be glad they are boys and you are a girl. I just cringe when girls say...I have no girlfriends. I just hang out with guys. Sweet girl, that's not that cool. You need your girlfriends. They need guy time. They need to explore and conquer stuff and girls need to bake with their moms and crochet (you don't do that, oh, here's hoping that's what the teenage version of my baby L, baby B and baby T girls want to do or I'll just be moving to a cave in Australia and have prearranged marriages to my best friend's children...it's do-able, us kanakuk people know how to have babies!).

5. Boys are creations of the Most High God who intimately knows how awesome of a gift they are and YOU are. I hate to use such a cliche but here it comes...what if we started to look at boys...the guy you are crushing on, the guy who gets slammed into his locker by the football jocks every day, the guy who you ate mud pies with growing up, the guy who is the most popular for all the wrong reasons...each of those guys as your brother. The brother who loves you, protects you, makes you laugh...a brother. A brother who is a great friend, but not a boyfriend since you and he are all of 13 years old. A brother who is a great date for prom b/c you can dance like a crazy person and laugh, but not a great date for prom if he has a room key waiting. A brother who can come over and play games with your folks and build a friendship if you must hang out with each other, but not a boy who honks his horn for you to come out or even worse, comes and shakes your daddy's hand and then that hand is roaming places it shouldn't later on in the date. He is your brother. You are his sister. Live as such...until your hand is placed in the one Jesus has written to hold your most precious heart. (Or until Jesus holds your heart and comes back and we are all jamming in Heaven in MC Hammer pants...I'm just sure of it).

So there ya go...please no theological debates or "let's anonymously argue" on comments. I have no degree, officially but just my thoughts to make you smile and maybe see the world a little different...go hug your daddy or high five your friends...girls and guys alike!

Click HERE to read "What I Wish I Could Tell My Teenage Self about...FAMILY."

Be awesome & Love Jesus,

kanakuk ashley robbins
ashley@kanakuk.com
Wanna come to summer camp! You totally should!

What I Wish I Could Tell My Teenager Self about...FAMILY...

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Hey K2 Kanakuk Friends,
Wouldn't it be incredible if we could look back on life and go back to our teenage self, college self, young mother self and tell us some valuable things that we needed to know at the time. Before you get all emotional that I am going to tell you all these valuable things...make sure we are defining valuable correctly. Valuable may just be simple tips, funny ramblings or deep theological statements. Prepare yourself. Today I thought I would post on what I would tell me teenage self about FAMILY...since Thanksgiving is just around the corner...

1. You are not Queen of the World...Your mom and dad and siblings were not put on this earth to revolve around you. Stop acting like they were. Go help your mom, make your bed, play with your siblings, and lay in your dad's lap and let him draw pictures on your back. You are a PART of the family.

2. Enjoy your mom...I was such a brat in high school. Don't get me wrong I was nice, polite and looked like a "good girl." But honey child to my momma I was a brat. She should have slapped me cross the head at least 3 times a day for my tone, my attitude and my all around mean spirit to her. It was just not nice. Moms and daughters during teenage years just battle...quit seeing your mom as an idiot and see her as the first person who would lay down her life for you and wants nothing but the best...even if your thoughts are different than hers. Sit down and talk to her, listen to stories and just be with her.

3. Learn from generations past...have you ever asked your grandma to tell her story? What she was like in high school? What was her favorite gift for Christmas when she was your age? How did she meet your grandpa? Oh such great questions and ones we must ask to the generations before us. Sit at her feet or your grandpa's feet and really listen. Be engaged with slow conversation, be aware of this life well lived. Just be with them...

4. Your siblings are your future best friends...what if we quit seeing family as forced and started to see them as our best friends. I love my brothers and come holidays they are the only folks I want to be with. Their family. PERIOD. Laugh with them, join in on video games to connect with them, play games (like board ones, or outside ones...not ones on your silly phones!)

5. PUT DOWN YOUR PHONE with your family. Oh, girls, please don't be those girls that misses being with their family b/c you are facebooking about how much you love your family and instagramming silly pictures of your family every other second...that means you are just on your phone the whole time. Make a pile of phone during the holidays (honestly I make our Kanakuk Institute "adopted" students do this when they come for dinner at our house) and take one pic and be done and be with them!

So there are 5 little tips...they might not go down in theological doctrine but I wish I would have known them (except #5...it was for your generation as I didn't have a cell phone till college).

Be awesome & Love Jesus,

kanakuk ashley robbins
ashley@kanakuk.com