Nothing Good Ever Happens After Midnight...Except...

Hey Kanakuk Friends,
I remember growing up and hearing my mom and dad always say, "Nothing good ever happens after midnight." Maybe it was a southern baptist preacher and high school teacher parenting thing. But I remember it. For the most part they are 100% true...especially if you are reading this and you are a beautiful teenage sweetie and your hormonal boyfriend wants to hang out till 3 am...this statement is very true for you.

But for the new anxious mommy...
     mommy of 1 tween, 1 toddler and 1 brand new baby...
          mommy of 4 kids under 5 years old...
               any mommy who is ever up past midnight rocking a little one because of a storm, nursing for the 5th time in 7 hours, snuggling a feverish little bug or just up with the morning light with an energy ball of love...

Whatever the reason...AMAZING, Magical things can happen after midnight...What if we captured these moments? It's amazing as much as I have been in the little, newborn stage in the past 5 years of life I already am forgetting...forgetting their breath on my chest. Forgetting who woke up the most or was the hungriest. Who switched day time and night time around (that was a hard season) and who slept through the night first. I'm forgetting...and I don't want to.

So hold on my sweet mommy...hold on to little coo's. Rock peacefully while you nurse knowing that you will make it...sleep deprived and all. You will...why...because God loves these moments. Think about it. It's still. It's quiet. It's total surrender to another life. Hmmm...I wonder if God knows anything about that? Caring about someone so much you would do anything, anything for them. Feeling so much love for that little being that your heart may explode. Hmm...I wonder if He knows anything about that at all?

You can do this mommy world! You can...remember their breath. remember their nails that can scratch your neck skin like no other even though their are no nails on their fingers. remember their bald heads. remember their chubby rolls or chicken legs. just remember...not with your phone, but with your heart.

Adventure and Wonder,
a

kanakuk ashley robbins
ashley@kanakuk.com
Camp! It's awesome!

Freedom of Christmas...

Hey K2 Kanakuk Friends,
Well, today might be a "mom"/older gal post but yet, maybe the message could ring true to teen hearts too...you decide.

Freedom...what a word! What a way to live...I thought 3 years ago when I had the 1st little Robbins I would forever live under an umbrella of guilt and nothing of the sorts of freedom. I was so worried I was going to mess her up, screw up her self esteem, or destroy her fragile heart but always falling short of being a perfect mom, perfect wife, perfect christian woman, and perfect kamp director. I was exhausted and not from the lack of sleep from having a newborn. I was simply exhausted because I was failing at every turn, every moment, every other mom I saw that was so "perfect...I was a failure and freedom was the "f-word" in my mind. One that I couldn't say and definitely didn't feel.

Then I let Jesus in to that place in my heart of fear and anxiety of not being enough and thinking I have to live in guilt because I have so many friends, fellow moms and myself that sit in guilt...not just sit but lay and flop around. That's an odd visual. Anyways, the Lord started lovingly calling my heart and life to freedom. I was so scared. Scared of truly living in freedom of clearly not being perfect. Clearly. I was scared of how many apologies I would go through when I messed up and not riding myself for that mess up for 6 months after. I soon found though an amazing peace from pressing into this fear of failure and guilt. I found the freedom in Jesus. I found the freedom to be me...all of me. I found the freedom to be okay that other moms do other things better, are more crafty, organized or more fun than me. Great! I found freedom in when I am impatient with the littles I go into their room that night, wake them, hug their little bodies and say, "mommy is sorry." Freedom! Freedom in walking into new friendships, freedom in loving new areas of ministry, freedom in the chaos of my life with our very little people. Freedom! It's so sweet! Does guilt still come to my thoughts...yes, but I am so quick to ignore and walk away from flopping around in that guilt. I mess up...ALL THE TIME. I have days I am in my pj's all day with bad breath b/c that is my season in life. I will choose freedom in my heart in Jesus any day over the year I had of battling so much guilt of not being enough. That life I will never go back to...I pray I press into the freedom we have in Jesus every single day.

Be awesome & Love Jesus,


kanakuk ashley robbins
ashley@kanakuk.com

p.s. this ended up having nothing to do with Christmas...or does it?

Mom: Christmas Edition...

{source}: It's actually a FREE Printable. 

Hey K2 Kanakuk MOMS (really it should read PARENT), 

I am going to try and start a mom post that pops up maybe 1-2 times a month. I am not posting about mommyhood b/c I am any kind of expert. Nor am I posting to build guilt into mom hearts which is such a huge battle...the Lord and I went rounds about guilt and now I don't live in it...freedom (said in a braveheart scream like Mel Gibson)

Okay, so I wanted to simply write/talk/question ask about being a great mom/parent during Christmas? I LOVE / HEART/ OBSESSED with Christmas. I love family, the tree, the wonderful smells, the old movies, games, ornaments, and the Christmas Eve service with candles that reminds you just 1/1000000 of the candles that may have been in that stable when our Savior was born. I want so badly for my kids to love Christmas b/c it's when Jesus was born. I know they will love the tree, snow, family and presents but I want them to know that if all the presents were stripped away their smiles and joy is still there b/c of a baby turned Savior named Jesus. How do we do this well? I honestly have no great wisdom that is proven from any research (considering my kids are still playing with the paper and just want more cheerios to eat)...but here are my thoughts (that's it...just THOUGHTS!)

1. Don't be crazy. Meaning this...your child's Christmas wish list should not be able to cover the whole living room floor. Have a budget and make it a budget that does not involve debt or major credit card charges. Our children need to understand this idea of not living above our means.

2. You must live in a way that SHOWS them Jesus is more important. That means not being ticked if your hubs didn't get you the "it" gift  or your family doesn't have the newest i____ (fill in the blank with the newest Apple toy). You must show them Jesus by going shopping for a family that can't get any gifts. A family that on their child's wishlist it says: coat and shoes. They must see the Holy Spirit in you. I tear up thinking about this as I am challenged by my own typing...

3. Teach your kids to make/get gifts for others. I can't wait to begin to teach our kids more (they don't do a lot of deep thinking or communication at this point) about giving. I love teenagers that come to kamp and say they had to pay for some of kamp or kids that just get it...they don't lean over to you and say can I have money to go get you a Christmas gift (if they even ask at all). They save and get their parents a gift or they create something as the kids to give to their parents. The oldest siblings watch the little ones for 4 nights during the month for a date night. They all color a manger scene and frame it for their parents. They all come together to get their Grandma a digital photo frame all set up with pictures b/c she can sit there in a nursing home and see her legacy.

4. Open their eyes. Go deliver gifts to kids whose parents are in prison. Go feed food to the homeless. Read Kisses from Katie and send over care packages. Fill boxes for Samaritan purse and have the kids put some of their toys in there. Make them understand they are millionaires b/c they have a roof over their heads, running water and a fridge full of food.

5. Read about Jesus. Read about Jesus and talk openly that while gifts and monetary blessings are so fun that they don't mean anything compared to Jesus and knowing Him. Talk about if the "stuff" were all taken away that we all still have Jesus' love and hope and each other.

6. Start young...and if you can't...reprogram. I know this is a weird one...for me, I want to start young that Christmas is not a time to raise our credit cards (we actually don't even have one...Dave Ramsey lives in our house as my hubs) limit to afford our kids wish list. I want to start young in being grateful for 1 gift or just being together with a yummy meal and family. (I have to add this does not include my mom and dad who will spoil our kids as much as they like...haha! Grandparenting must be awesome!). But even with that I want my kids to LOVE my parents and just being with them...the gifts are just an extra...not an expectation. I never want the mountain of gifts to be an expectation.

* Now if yours are older...reprogram. Shock value can be huge here. What if for Christmas you sent your entire typical Christmas money for gifts to a missionary in Egypt. What if you all were allowed to gift 1 gift and the others would go to those without. I loved that for our birthdays growing up my parents would get us 1 gift and by no means a HUGE gift. I remember one year I got a pair of jeans I needed. I loved them and was so thankful. It taught me simplicity.

Okay...so those are thoughts...not expertise and no judgements. Monetary blessing is not bad and Christmas gifts are not bad either...it's your focus on the gifts and what you would be like if the gifts were all gone...JUST THOUGHTS...

Be awesome & Love Jesus, 

kanakuk ashley robbins

ashley@kanakuk.com

Coolness is Gone...

Hey K2 Kanakuk Gals,
Well, I am wondering today if my coolness factor is completely 100% totally gone. Why, you might be asking? (I'm sure most of you would never think my coolness factor could be gone...ha!) I thought through most of my days...with 2 little precious faces my life and it's coolness might be gone.

Things that I do mostly every day:
1. Crawl like a horse as our 1st born rides and thinks its funny to "fall" off. Quite the workout.
2. All my shirts and really all parts of my clothing have become burp cloths and most of the time have some sort of spit up.
3. I sing songs with words like "wiggle, wiggle, waggle" in them.
4. I repeat words like nose, belly, eyes, and feet while pointing to mine and a 14 month olds.
5. My body is the newest jungle gym to crawl, poke, and pull.
6. I bought 3 different size diapers at Target the other day...1 because they were on sale, 2 because we will need them all.
7. I use scissors in every meal to cut up food.
8. I am hardly ever by, around, or on my cell phone.
9. I daily look up something in a book called Baby 411 or Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Baby.
10. I am a laudry company. Seriously.

So today I laughed as I wouldn't change any of those things for my "coolness" back. Just remember gals this summer you have to keep me "cool" by keeping me up on all the trends of music, fashion, lingo, etc...I'm sure the K2 girls leadership team will have a field day.

Be Awesome & Love Jesus,

kanakuk ashley robbins / ashley@kanakuk.com
photo: etsy.com / seller: artsyville / click HERE to purchase this adorable print!

What Every Little Girl SHOULD Hear...

Hey K2 Kanakuk Gals,

My heart has been heavy and excited to blog lately. The hubster is out of town so I'm just now getting a chance. I have been with my two precious ones and just so wanting them to know all these core messages I want to write upon their little hearts. As I thought about the 2 sweet ones that stare back at me with no words in reaction since they don't speak (besides the mumblings of a 14 month old), I wondered how many of you have these messages because you had a mom resounding them into you and how many of you don't have these messages because your mom hasn't told them to you, isn't around, or has passed away. With all those thoughts I wanted to be a voice to tell you the core messages I think every little girl needs to know. I want to blog on this at least once every 2 weeks...cross your fingers that I actually do it.

Message #1: YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. I heard the other day that this generation more than anything else wants to be complimented. More than ANYTHING...just to be complimented. I watch our little firstborn clap her hands together (her newest accomplishment) and stare at her daddy waiting for his reaction. I remember myself twirling around and around as a vent made my Sunday dress poof open and look like a princess. As I twirled I prayed that I was seen by someone to say...You are BEAUTIFUL. So to all the little girls out there, remember today that you are beautiful. Your sweet smile, you dimple that is only on your left cheek, your scar on your left knee from trying to jump a fence, your curly hair that is cray cray when you wake up...everything about each of you is beautiful. You are made in the likeness of Your Creator! His beauty illuminates in everything about you!

Moms and daughters go through stages...stages of dependence, avoidance, rebellion, friendship, advisor, and on and on the cycle goes as life goes. Sometimes moms can say things they don't really mean...example: "Are you going to fix your hair?" when it's already fixed. "What about your other outfit?" when you are dressed for the day. "Why don't you go work out?" when your jean size changed. The words come out of their mouths and your heart breaks. Mommas, catch these words. Stop them. You HAVE to be your daughters loudest voice of beauty (you and daddio). Shout their beauty with notes, whispers as you sit in church, never negative looks comments in front of others...be her biggest advocate of beauty!

So today, each little girl remember that. Remember those 3 words when the world says otherwise.
Be Awesome & Love Jesus,

kanakuk ashley robbins / ashley@kanakuk.com

photos: etsy.com / sellers: lovesugar (Click HERE) & theloveshope (Click HERE)

Never Grow Up...

Hey K2 Kanakuk Gals,
I got Taylor Swift's new CD for Christmas and let's just say I am a bit obsessed. I know she is like in her 20's and I'm in my something older than that...but I still am confessing on this blog I just adore her! Anyways, on her CD she has a song called "Never Grow Up." I am not sure if pregnancy hormones are just still in me or what but I ball like a baby every time I hear this song. Just thinking about our 2 munchkins growing up...I can't even type it without crying.

I am not sure if the K2 girls' moms read this blog anymore but this post is for you mommas and for the girls too. Daughters remember that your moms/dads/grandparents or whoever raises you thinks this way about you. You are their most prized possession on this earth!

Our 2 munchkins...you aren't allowed to grow up! The pause button for humans will be invented and perfected by the time you are 5 years old.

"Never Grow Up." Taylor Swift

Your little hand's wrapped around my finger
And it's so quiet in the world tonight
Your little eyelids flutter cause you're dreaming
So I tuck you in, turn on your favorite night light
To you everything's funny, you got nothing to regret
I'd give all I have, honey
If you could stay like that

Oh darling, don't you ever grow up
Don't you ever grow up, just stay this little
Oh darling, don't you ever grow up
Don't you ever grow up, it could stay this simple
I won't let nobody hurt you, won't let no one break your heart
And no one will desert you
Just try to never grow up, never grow up

You're in the car on the way to the movies
And you're mortified your mom's dropping you off
At 14 there's just so much you can't do
And you can't wait to move out someday and call your own shots
But don't make her drop you off around the block
Remember that she's getting older too
And don't lose the way that you dance around in your pj's getting ready for school

Oh darling, don't you ever grow up
Don't you ever grow up, just stay this little
Oh darling, don't you ever grow up
Don't you ever grow up, it could stay this simple
No one's ever burned you, nothing's ever left you scarred
And even though you want to, just try to never grow up

Take pictures in your mind of your childhood room
Memorize what it sounded like when your dad gets home
Remember the footsteps, remember the words said
And all your little brother's favorite songs
I just realized everything I have is someday gonna be gone

So here I am in my new apartment
In a big city, they just dropped me off
It's so much colder that I thought it would be
So I tuck myself in and turn my night light on

Wish I'd never grown up
I wish I'd never grown up

Oh I don't wanna grow up, wish I'd never grown up
I could still be little
Oh I don't wanna grow up, wish I'd never grown up
It could still be simple
Oh darling, don't you ever grow up
Don't you ever grow up, just stay this little
Oh darling, don't you ever grow up
Don't you ever grow up, it could stay this simple
Won't let nobody hurt you
Won't let no one break your heart
And even though you want to, please try to never grow up
Oh, don't you ever grow up
Oh, never grow up, just never grow up
Lyrics provided by LyricsMode.com

Be Awesome & Love Jesus,

kanakuk ashley robbins / ashley@kanakuk.com

photo: etsy.com / seller: sarahjanestudios / Click HERE to purchase. It's adorable!!!!!!!

2 Buttons for Parenting...

Hey K2 Kanakuk Gals & PARENTS,
Hopefully there are still some parents who check this crazy blog since the summer when summer was all to you all. Today is for both parents and girls. As I have watched our firstborn begin to grow, gain more independence with crawling and more spunk with her faces and wants I have thought so much about parents.

Girls, I promise you that parents (again, from my 11 months of trial of this whole parenting thing) would love for their to be a button that in every day situations, hard situations, confusing situations that they could just push the all knowing, perfectly solution finding EASY button. Already with an 11 month old, I wish there was an easy button that as you labored for your child the button just came right out with each one too. That would be amazing and slightly odd...but you know what I mean. Girls, your parents, even at their worst most unconnected to you stage, desperately love you and are just trying to navigate this world of teenage junk and prayerfully have a daughter that not only survives but thrives in knowing the Lord, knowing her security, and knowing her giftings. Oh, to have an EASY button...amen from any parents! I am sure some are staring at this screen screamin' "PREACH SISTER." No, oh, okay?

But girls, sadly the button that we as parents get (again, 11 months is the fullness of my knowledge) a lot of the days is the PANIC button. We have a panic button in our tongues, our hearts, our bodily movements. So when you come home and want to go to a party that "everyone" is going to we just say, "No, because I said so" out of pure panic. If we had the handy dandy easy button we would sit down and listen to why you wanted to go, would parents be there, what type of things would be going on, and allow you to share, listen and then ask for you to hear us out on our side. We would ask (party in this example is not a good party like with hats and hayrides) if this party truly was a place Jesus would love to return and see you at. Ohh!! Such a squashing question of questionable parties...you at that point would see our side and although sad would in your heart know that your parents had just pressed the easy button instead of the panic button. Another example, you come home and really want to major in college in Art & Literature while your dad/mom have pushed the business world for a very long time. Your parents might press the panic button and say they will not pay for college if you major in this crazy, ain't no jobs in Art & Lit that pay more than $2 an hour. You at that point calmly ask your parents what is it that scares them for you to major and work in the area that you are passionate and more than that the Lord has gifted you in? Ohh! Good question teenage daughter! Your parents then get to hear your excitement and dreams and know that the Lord has placed those things on your heart and get to say..."ya know what, we want to support the heart the Lord has placed in you. We do want you to have a job but maybe it's something we couldn't have scripted...only God can. So we'll pay!" WOOHOO!

Okay, cheesy examples (and quite long)...absolutely. But parents and girls you both (again, I'm learning this even now with an 11 month old and by no means want to come across as having it figured out...just typing here to the world wide web some thoughts) have to withhold your hand from slamming down the panic button in fear, doubt, out of control. etc and allow yourself to hit the easy button but stopping, asking Jesus to meet you there, and listening to each other.

So go my K2 girls and awesome K2 parents...begin to switch buttons in your home from panic responses of the flesh to spirit responses of the heart. I have to end with this...well, that was easy!
Be Awesome & Love Jesus,

Kanakuk Ashley Robbins / ashley@kanakuk.com
Photos: google.com / Search "easy button" & "panic button"

A Moment...

(Disclaimer: I promise this blog will NOT turn into my ramblings of motherhood and Lulu all the time...promise but it will be a part of the blog ever so often and since this is my 2nd day back to blogging this baby thing is still new and all things very precious and dear so I'm posting today about it.)

At this very moment I sit typing in my living room as I gaze out of our huge window to the magnificent view of a winter wonderland. I have my sweet little one resting on my chest in her baby carrier wimpering as she hopefully dreams of how much Shay and I love her. I have a children's lullabies CD playing and pictures of Lulu playing a slideshow on our other computer. It's a sweet moment in the Robbins House tonight.

I know these moments seem so long ago to some of you girls but know that at some point you were the precious one on a someone's chest cooing through a dream. And know now that you are that precious one to a Heavenly Father still...

Be awesome & love Jesus,

Kanakuk Ashley Robbins

She's HERE...

Hey K2 Kampers/Staff, Moms & Dads, (let's be honest it's probably like my mom that reads this blog),

SHE'S HERE! Lucy "Lulu" Reese Robbins was born on November 24, 2009 at 8:27 pm. She weighed in at 8 pounds 2 ounces and was 22 inches long. She has a head of dark hair and is perfect in every way! I can't wait for you all to see her this summer at K2. Oh, I just can't wait!

With her arrival means that this month the blog will somewhat come to a slow stall...I am going to do my best but also want to be realistic with my time. I want to step away and let kamp stuff slow for this month to really focus on the Robbins' family. So this next month will be rather slow in kanakukashley.com. Thanks for understanding!

Have a great Holiday Season,

Kanakuk Ashley Robbins

My Mom Thoughts...

Hey Kanakuk Friends,
Goodness, sorry it has been a few days. Shay is gone this week for the Kanakuk Movie Tour (so sad not to be with him in Wichita Falls, Ardmore, Edmond, and Enid) and there was a lot to be done. This post is purely the goings of life right now...not that anyone really cares but I just didn't know what else to post about.

1. We bought a house! What!! We have lived in a precious little cabin for the past 3 years that is very close to work...very close! But the Lord totally totally opened some doors and so we are moving into a house in the next 2 weeks.
2. Our car tags had to be renewed. Some might say this is a minor but man the state of Missouri, or whoever, needs a lot of information to renew your tags for our truck. We had to get tax receipts, copy the insurance card, then I had to go get it inspected. I felt very official.
3. Doctor's appointment and a baby class. Well, yesterday was another weekly check at the doctor on still-no-name Baby Girl Robbins. So I spent the whole day up in Springfield heading to some cute stores, returning stuff, and getting fabric b/c I have a precious new friend, click HERE to see her stuff, that is making our crib bedding! Woohoo!!!
4. Got to still order a moses basket off of Target.com. Just keep forgetting but we will need that little basket to tote Baby Girl Robbins on the Kanakuk Movie Tour in January. She gets to be a part of the Kanakuk travel team! Woohoo! How much fun will that be! (fyi...she will be coming to some towns in Louisiana, then to Kansas City, Tulsa, St. Louis, and Oklahoma City)
5. Thank you notes. I grew up with a precious mom who would write a thank you note for getting a thank you note so it is very etched in my soul to write a thank you note quickly. I am a little behind but have had 2 nights of HSM 3 and Thank You Note Writing! Hysterical!

So that has been some of the things on my list this week. A little update on Baby Girl Robbins is that she is doing great. My doctor is just incredible and says that she is measuring perfectly and "turned" the right way to make her way into the world. WHAT IN THE WORLD? ME AS A MOM IN LESS THAN 3 WEEKS...LAUGHTER AND TEARS OF FEAR! Just kidding, it's going to be awesome with I'm sure moments of panic and cluelessness but I'm hoping laughter will be a normal part of my life every 5 minutes once she gets here! Please be praying that she comes on time or even a little late. Shay has 1 more week of traveling to schools in Oklahoma and then will be done. I am feeling great and actually still love being pregnant. I have started to have some somewhat restless nights...last night I thought of paint colors for our new house from 4:30-6:30 am...what in the world! Sorry I wasn't very spiritual...I just couldn't stop visualizing the look of each room. So, all in all, she is on course for November 30th or somewhere around there.

Thanks for everyone's prayers and love! I can't wait for you all to meet her when you ALL return for Kanakuk K2 Summer 2010. I'll try my best to blog once she arrives to get her name and some pics up!

Be awesome & Love Jesus,

Thoughts of the Poster Clueless Future Mom...

Well, I must admit that my blogging ideas have not flowed quite as freely as they once did...could be hormonal preggo emotionsor just normal emotions of a week where clinging to God's Holy Word has never been more evident. I think pregnancy has been somewhat smooth as far as hormonal rollercoaster riding for all those around me...but I guess Shay would be the best answer for that question. Anyways, tomorrow we have our next baby appointment for "Baby Girl Robbins."Yes, it's true we still have no name...are we just awful parents? It just seems like the biggest responsibility (as of now of course) of picking a name...what if I pick one and then the next day I hear one that's better...or what if we have her and right when she comes out the name just doesn't fit?? Oh, goodness, the thoughts of a new clueless mom! Anyways, so she is still nameless as of now. My co-small group leader and our 7th/8th grade girls have given her a temporary name...Agnus. Hysterical! (please leave no comments if you name is Agnus...it's great for you! Go girl!) So anyways, tomorrow Shay and I will head to our precious doctor to have our next check up. I am pretty sure it is a routine check and from my belly growth and her movement I think all is well. In light of life's ups and downs...I cannot tell you how much this baby has steadied my heart in His Word, His love, and His sovereignty. I will TRY and take some belly pics soon...ya'll, you know it's somewhat awkward when you see people's preggo belly so I try and and avoid too many but girls it has grown since summer...like exponentially! Ya'll would just laugh at me if you saw me! Oh, side note, I am obsessed with maternity clothes. I love maternity pants...they are my fav! I want to keep wearing them after I have her, like forever!

Hope the day is filled with reminders of God's love for you! (this post is so random...welcome to my preggo mind girls! So random! Hope maybe it brings a little laughter to ya!)

Be awesome & love Jesus,